Why you can't be behind in life

There is no such thing as being 'behind' in life.

We think of time as a solid, fixed concept, but the closer I pay attention to human potential and growth, the more I experience it differently.

Let me give you an example.

When I first trained as a coach, about 5 years ago, I realised one of the deeply held thoughts that was holding me back was that I was too young. I didn’t deserve a more senior role because I wasn’t experienced enough.

Around the same time I met a friend who was on a similar journey to me. Exactly the same age. His deeply held belief was that he was too old, he’d left it too late.

A weird thing happened when our opposing beliefs collided - they just sort of disappeared. It turned out neither was true.

Soon after that I met a mentor who was at least 10 years younger than me. But the experience he had packed into his life was incredible. I began to see it’s not about the time that’s passed, it’s the experiences you have had and the person you have become as a result of that.

It’s too easy to get caught up comparing ourselves to others, but it really is a fruitless exercise - they are running a different race.

I speak to many people who believe they are behind in life. Professionally, financially, in their relationships. They look around and compare themselves unfavourably with where others are. It leads to a deep unhappiness and loss of confidence.

Here are the things I have learned about time:

• It’s not a fixed concept. One year spent doing the same things you have done for the last 5 years is not the same as one year where you deliberately put yourself into situations where you are pushed and grow.
  

• Equally, one hour clock watching because you can’t wait to get away from your desk is not the same as one hour spent in flow - creating something that comes from the depths of your talent. Imagine what you would achieve if more of your work hours felt like that.

• The more peak experiences you have, the slower time passes. Novelty creates memories. If you feel time is passing too quickly, you need to create more memory-worthy experiences in your life.

• Measuring your achievement against a checklist of external accomplishments is unhelpful. The happiest people measure their progress by how fulfilled and energised they feel. 

You can achieve more than you think in a year and more than you believe is possible in 5 years. I have met many people who have completely changed their lives in this time.

As the Chinese proverb says:

‘The best time to plant a cherry tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is today’